this past week, and days have been a roller coaster for me. i bounced off of one job, started another the day after- then quit. now i'm at home, going to school tuesdays and thursday mornings (which is terrible because i go to sleep really late but i wanted to get school out of the way early so i'd have time to do stuff the rest of the day) anyways, i went through a very condescending person, to a very manipulative person, to now... a sweet, soft, comfortable zone.. my bed :] since i don't have a job and thankfully enough have parents who can financially support me, i've had a lot of free time in my hands. i've thought about different things, some of them being:
-what i want to do in the future
-where i want to go to school next year
-who i want to live with next year
-ways to get experience in what i want to do in the future, at home
-ways to get closer to my family and better my relationship with both my mom and my dad
-ways to help myself with this damn communication impediment i have self diagnosed myself with
it really excites me to think about what i want to do in the future and it also makes me very happy because as most of my close friends and family members know... i am not the brightest crayon in the box, but... i have the ability to shape myself into a bright crayon when i do something i really enjoy and i get to use my feelings on. there's so many things i'm passionate about, and as i've grown older i've tried to find ways to explore, discover and become more fond of these objects/people/areas i'm so passionate about. so all day today i've been online, i've been outdoors, i've gone to different places.... and i came to the conclusion that i have officially changed my mind on my major :] i found something i'm MORE passionate about than what i wanted to do in the hospitality and tourism field. don't get me wrong, it's still on my mind... but it is now number 2 on my mind. Sorry Hosp & Tourism! i talked to one of my best friends about it and i got the approval speech. made me feel even better about it! ah. i want to squeal of excitement. i love my new major idea.
okay so, next topic!
where do i want to go to school next year? that, my friends... i am still undecided about. i need to do some research and budget numbers and THEN i will have my mind made up. but for now, that topic will sit still in the waiting lane inside my brain.
who i want to live with next year. i have 3 options. still undecided.
---skips the next 2 topics and jumps to "ways to help myself with this damn communication impediment i have self diagnosed myself with" lately i have found that reading my old blog posts, reading books, magazines, and even newspapers helps me think of ways to get what i want to get out out of my brain and into words... in a way that can actually be understood. i don't know how to explain what i think is wrong with me. it's like, things make sense in my head... but when i try to talk about them or type about them, i get stuck. literally STUCK. it feels like so many thoughts are trying to exit my brain all at once that they get stuck and i can't even think straight anymore. i can't grasp each thought individually and explain it. i WILL learn how to though. i WILL.
my next blog post will be about virtual counseling -anonymous or not. stay tuned!
toodles!
xoxo, christy the queen
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