Excuse the inappropriate text, but uhm is this not the sweetest thing?!

Confidence.

This is one of my absolute favorite scenes. Samantha is such a character. I love her.
Now to begin what I'm blogging about today. In my opinion, one of the best things about growing older is... confidence. I can mention a handful of people who don't realize how important confidence is. Hence, everyone is different. Here's a list of things people with confidence can easily do/enjoy doing:
1.Get dressed, pick an outfit they like, leave, have a good time, and come back and continue living life.
2.Being happy.
3.Talking about ideas, places, plans, and if it has to be about people, something positive, and if it's a friend/acquaintance... constructive criticism?
4.Having a sense of humor.
5.Not hesitating to speak their mind.
6.Doing an endless amount of things without feeling embarrassed.
7.Accepting others, and coexisting.
8.Dressing in bold colors, outfits that stand out, unusual garments. (This is me saying unusual- thinking of the usual as nike shorts, t-shirts, jeans, tanks, etc.) 9.Loving themselves as well as loving others.
10.Having a life filled with laughter, love, and joy. Even after a bad day of PMSing.
11.Having morals, and boundaries.
12.Enjoying what they have and not feeling the need to point out people who have less.
13.Smiling at strangers.
14.Being open.
and last but not least.. notice the one thing all the things I just mentioned have in common?
15.Being yourself.

I myself, am guilty of not doing these things PLENTY of times, but as the years have gone by and I've gotten older... I have gotten SO much better at actually doing them and I am really thankful I realized there is a difference between being confident, and being arrogant. When I think confidence, I think sharing. When I think arrogance, I think selfish. Why? When you know who you are, and you feel no need to prove anything to anyone who has a bad opinion of you, you hear it... you giggle, and you move on. That's confidence. When you know who you are at any time of the day, you will know that you can do what you want, and the people who love you and care about you will know why you are doing... whatever it is that you're doing. When you're walking through the different stages of life and you feel the need to stop, pick up a rock and throw it at whoever is pointing their fingers at you... that's when you know you need a little confidence boost! You're never going to get far if you're constantly doing that. The first step from arrogant to confident is realizing you are wrong. Yep, you are WRONG. It's okay. I was in denial too, there was no way... *I* Christy the Queen was wrong about something that had to do with myself.... Lol I was like 13 when I thought this. I actually am wrong, a lot of times. Okay so lets say you've gotten through the first step (realizing you're wrong), now what? Figure out how to fix what's wrong. Talk to your closest friends, talk to your siblings, talk to your parents. Get their criticism and figure out ways to improve yourself. From then on... it's alllllll you.

I have all kinds of friends. Very few friends, but they're all very different. From a girl who got a full ride to A&M University for being a great student (not to mention she also had perfect attendance), to a girl who hasn't even graduated high school and has a baby. Like I mentioned, they are all very different, but I love each and every one of them. Having different types of friends has helped learn a lot about life. I've learned that not everyone is as lucky as I am when it comes to my parents. I still have both of them. Healthy and alive. (you'd be surprised as to how many people don't have both of their parents nowadays, so if you do.. take a moment to thank God for allowing you to have that privilege). I've learned that girls who are 2-6 years younger than me have had more sex partners than birthdays. I've learned that for some girls, having abortions due to their irresponsible actions is okay. I've learned that in high school, about 90% of the people who knew who I was but didn't talk to me... thought I was stuck up, and way too materialistic or... the most common opinion; "fake". Lol. Oh high school. I've learned that about 90% of the students at Irving High School don't have manners. (or at least they didn't the 4 years I was there) And you know what all these things I mentioned take part in? A lack of love, lack of confidence, lack of a sheltered home, lack of parents to take the time to raise them well, lack of home education, and a lack of a respectful growing environment.

In high school, if you know a girl isn't even an upperclassman and she has slept with more than 20 guys, you automatically think she's a slut and you don't want to associate with her. (I, myself, am guilty of thinking that about a couple of girls.)
But little do you know, she comes from a home where her mom doesn't work, her dad doesn't work... but they both drink and do cocaine every night and never want her home. They don't make an effort to teach her right from wrong (even if you're high school, a good parent will always try to teach you right from wrong), they don't give her any love, better yet ANY attention. Now think about that. Just think about it. A teenage girl, with friends who's vocabulary don't go much farther than "nigga, truuuu, turn up, fuck a bitch, etc" and go to jail as often as a girly girl goes to the mall. So there's that... friends who aren't really friends, she doesn't get any attention from the people who brought her into this world, doesn't get attention at school because people think she's a slut... so where is she getting attention from? Boys. We are humans. It's in our nature to feel good when we are taken care of/have attention. She found that if she has no self respect, no boundaries, and no limits to what can be done to her body.. she will get attention from any horny boy at school, and at this stage in her life... any attention is like the first sip of water after a hike up a big hill. I am not saying the fact that she doesn't have a sheltered life means it's okay for her to be the way she is. I am saying there is a reason for the way people are, 99.9% of time. Whether it's good, or bad. Some people go through bad things, but then they get to a certain age where they realize no one will do things for them other than themselves so they pick themselves up and get their life together. Others aren't that strong. Others are really really broken. You'd be surprised at how (excuse my language) fucked up, some people's homes are. From the day they were born, until now. Anyways, the point of this story (that I didn't make up, but I'm not going to use names because I'm sure that girl wouldn't want the world to know her personal problems) is to make you realize the different points of views people have. Someone with confidence will make an effort to get to know somebody, and to look past the outer shell in a situation where this person is brought closer to them, and try to help them. Someone who is arrogant will think they are too good to have a friend who didn't have a home as sheltered as theirs and will just judge them and maintain that judgment-- even if it hurts that persons feelings. I am not writing this to change your opinion on trashy girls you know, or to shove my opinions down your throat and make you agree with me. Nope. I do realize I have over a thousand followers on Instagram, and I'm SURE some of those followers don't like me.. but at the same time enjoy keeping up with my life/opinions. Funny how that works huh? Lol. Anyways, for all I know you could be reading this post thinking "oh God I've never heard anyone with dumber opinions" and by ALL means if that's what you think, you go sistaaa! Some people won't like me, and that's life. I can live with that. I've got a big closet and a very handsome boyfriend to revolve my attention around. (lol, I giggle as I type this while shoving my face with chocolate pudding.) But if you do happen to be one of those people that reads my blogs because you're interested in what I talk about/think about/do with my life. HELLOW THERE! :) This was just a blog post to maybe help you accept who you are, give you that extra push you need to be yourself and not hold anything back due to your worries of what other people will think. I have a close friend who always asks me "dude how do i gain confidence, teach me", and it's not really like a 30 minute lesson-take-out-your-journal-and-take-notes thing. It's a time taking learning process and the teacher is YOU. Tomorrow is a new day. Forgive yourself if you've done wrong and thank the Lord if you've improved. Geeez this was a long post, tooooodlessss! xoxo

Friendships I hope and pray, last me a lifetime.

and last but definitely not least, the friendship/relationship I hold closest to my heart, hoping it never runs out on me.

my best friend. my right hand. my soul mate.

We can’t be afraid of change. You may feel very secure in the pond that you are in, but if you never venture out of it, you will never know that there is such a thing as an ocean, a sea. Holding onto something that is good for you now, may be the very reason why you don’t have something better.

- C. Joybell C.

What is love?

There are a couple of things you should know before you continue reading the rest of this post. One of the most important things, is that love isn't the same to everyone. There are some things about love that everyone could view as the same, but there are other things that we could all view differently. You should also know that I am no expert in love, or anything like that. These are all opinions based off of my life, my experiences, and my every day activities.

Okay, anyways. There are a few things I have discovered about love, over the past year and a few months. When I hadn't met Jacob, I wanted to know what the definition of love was, so so badly. How could I ever know if I was in love if I didn't even know what love is? The problem was, that I thought I could logically figure out love. What I have realized from these past 16 months with Jacob, is that love isn't always logical. Matter fact love is almost never logical. It isn't black and white. That is why I had such a hard time. I wanted a "Yes, Christy, THIS is love. that's it", but I should have been more willing to stop thinking so hard and actually enjoy the journey of falling in love.

I've officially been with Jacob for a year and 4 months. While it isn't nearly as long as couples I know and admire, I still have learned a few things about what love --without a definition-- is.

1.It's when neither he or she will eat the last chocolate chip pancake because they both want the other person to have it- even though they both love chocolate chip pancakes.

2.It's when he wants to go out and do stuff, but she is too tired and just wants to lay down and sleep… so he lays down and tries to fall asleep with her.

3.It's when self-sacrifice is worth it if it can make the other person happy.

4.It's sitting down after a long day and having desire to tell him or her about every detail as well as wanting to hear every detail-- because you care about their day. Even if it was just another normal day.

5.It's when he wakes up in the middle of their nap to write something sweet on her iPhone notes, just to remind her how much he loves her.

6.It's when he and she can be completely themselves in front of each other and still be accepted.

7.It's when he keeps saying ridiculously funny stuff in the middle of a emotional breakdown she is having because of something very little but at the time feels big because of PMS.

8.It's when he knows he has an overly emotional girlfriend, but is not embarrassed of her or her actions anywhere he goes.

9.It's when she falls asleep on the couch and he gets up to find a blanket to put over her so she won't be cold.

10.It's when he maker her feel great about herself, even if she's 5'1, weighs 113 pounds, and rarely ever works out.

11.It's when he sleeps uncomfortably and with a numb arm just so she can feel safe and loved while taking a nap.

12.It's when he offers to untangle her hair in the shower so she doesn't have to do it.

13.It's when you can just stare at one another, and know that in a few seconds you will both smile with joy because you're in love with each other.

14.It's when he will watch something he doesn't want to watch, just so he is laying in the same couch, and in the same room with her.

15.It's when she stares blankly at a TV with ESPN on it, as long as she gets to hold his hand.

16.It's when she runs up to him full of excitement after not seeing him for a couple of weeks.

17.It's when just being together leaves her happy and with a feeling of contentment.

These are just a few things that I have discovered about love over the past months, and year.

Although I still am not an expert on the subject of love. I know that love is very very powerful…. and I love it so much.